Optimism is trusting you will be okay, no matter what life throws at you.
I was born and raised as a second-generation pessimist. My father taught me that life has some peaks, but it’s mostly lived in the valley. “Enjoy these peaks,” he would say, “because they are few and far between, and there’s not much you can do about that.”
It took me decades later to see this view for what it really was.
I resonated with his pessimistic philosophy, even at an early age. My happiness seemed to coincide with my circumstances and how others treated me. With each new disappointment, it felt safer always to expect the worst.
Life met my…
Lifelong habits aren’t forged by willpower alone
I once believed that forming and maintaining new habits required brute force of willpower. I would berate myself for being weak-willed any time I failed to create a new habit. I would assume that I simply hadn’t tried hard enough.
What I didn’t recognize is that there is a repeatable formula for incorporating new habits into your life.
It took me years of failure, followed by years of success in numerous areas of my life, but I discovered seven straightforward steps to form any new routine I desire. …
Focus on creating the world you want
It’s a challenging time to write about positivity, hope, and personal choice as America is experiencing its darkest period in my lifetime. On the one hand, a pandemic is currently tearing through our country as many people act as if nothing is wrong. On the other hand, the current President refuses to concede an election that he convincingly lost.
The lies and misinformation spread by our President are killing Americans by the tens of thousands and attempting to snuff out American Democracy. Meanwhile, the majority of Republicans are either helping him spread lies or complicity standing by in silence.
Democracy…
Teaching others will improve your self-worth and your relationships.
I’ve been a teacher in some form or fashion for most of my life. I tutored other students in high school. I owned a company that helped attorneys explain complex patent technology and business concepts to judges and juries during trials. I trained and mentored my employees.
I also oversaw the IT of our small company, and I frequently helped troubleshoot technology issues for my employees. I’ve become someone whom my friends and family ask for help with their technology problems.
I love gadgets, and I’ve given countless tutorials to curious strangers on new products people see me using on…
Willpower feels real, but it’s a myth
I once believed that I could accomplish anything if I only had enough willpower to take consistent action. Conversely, I thought that a lack of willpower stood between me and my dreams.
I didn’t seem to possess enough willpower to make significant changes in my life. Every time I tried to form a new habit or to move my life in a different direction, I gave up within days or even hours. I felt a lack of willpower rendered me incapable of being consistent for long enough to achieve results.
I would give myself pep talks. I repeatedly promised myself…
You must accept difficulty and become an advocate for what you desire
There’s an unsettling truth that most people resist — life is hard. Unsuccessful and unhappy people never accept this fact. Instead, they expect to find a shortcut to obtaining success and happiness and spend their lives looking for it.
No such shortcut exists, but that does not mean you must suffer to become successful or happy. It is possible to engage in challenging behaviors and simultaneously live a happy and contented life — if you adopt a healthy relationship to life’s difficulties.
It is essential to recognize that the descriptions like “difficult” or “hard” are constructs. These constructs have subjective…
Magical thinking may feel good, but it’s unproductive.
Magical thinking is interlaced throughout many conversations in modern society. Disney movies fill young imaginations with notions that dreams do come true by rubbing a magical lamp or discovering the existence of a fairy godmother wielding a magic wand. Tales of Santa Claus sliding down the chimney to deliver toys fill youngsters with the hope that merely writing down a list of desires will have them fulfilled.
These flights of fantasy linger long after we have outgrown our childish beliefs. In times of stress, even the least religious among us will pray for a miracle to alter the course of…
Tracking your accomplishments can rewire your brain and rewrite your story.
I spent the first forty years of my life sabotaging my goals and my mood. I chastised myself any time I procrastinated or failed to make sufficient progress toward my goals. Instead of experiencing a healthy disappointment, I exaggerated my “failures” into indictments of my character and my ability to succeed in the future.
I convinced myself that I was flawed because I was not living up to some arbitrary ideal of what must and must not be so about my self and my life.
I insisted that I must make significant progress toward reaching my goals each and every…
Focus on creating meaningful commitments to achieve success naturally.
It is easy to become fixated on results. The results we achieve impact our level of success and can also impact our happiness. But fixating on our results can do us more harm than good.
It took me several decades of failed dieting and finally losing 70 pounds to learn this lesson. In that process, I discovered what to focus on instead. But I’ll get to that story in a moment.
Our parents and teachers stress the importance of achieving good results when they emphasize that we make good grades. …
How to recognize and eliminate complaints from your life
We instinctively dislike complaints, yet we engage in them daily. Complaints feel like an inescapable fact of living in the age of social media. Facebook and Twitter can feel more like complaining platforms than socializing platforms most days.
Expressing dissatisfaction has become a part of everyday life for most people, but do you know anyone who’s happy and complains all the time? I certainly don’t.
All of the power and money in the world will not bring you happiness when you view your life through the lens of complaints. …
Kelly Roberts
Entrepreneur. Writer. Eternal Student. A living example that it is never too late to follow your dreams. I’m here to share everything I’ve learned.
